


Can't You See

by Quinn_F



Category: Supergirl (TV 2015)
Genre: Drunk Alex Danvers, F/F, Kara Danvers Needs a Hug, Lena Luthor Knows Kara Danvers Is Supergirl, Lena Luthor Needs a Hug
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-03-09
Updated: 2021-03-14
Packaged: 2021-03-16 00:40:24
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 7,384
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29941854
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Quinn_F/pseuds/Quinn_F
Summary: “I’m sorry.” Kara spoke all of a sudden. And Lena just looked back at her with questioning eyes.Lena pursed her lips, shook her head with a wistful smile on her lips. She sighed and looked back up at Kara. “Why?” she asked pretending to ask whatever it is Kara is sorry for.Lena doesn’t want to make a big deal about Kara and the Super friends. She doesn’t want to appear too sensitive about their friends’ jabs or to make anyone at the DEO seem intellectually incompetent. She doesn’t want any more spotlight on her. She just wants to be plain Lena. She’s just Lena. Not the sister of the megalomaniac Lex, not the daughter and possibly alliance of Cadmus’ leader, not Lena who trapped her friend Supergirl in a Kyrptonite prison. Just Lena.“I’m just sorry.” Kara said softly, reaching for Lena’s hand which she thankfully didn’t move away.“I want to make things better. Let me make it up to you.” Kara promises. Her hold on Lena’s was firmer, urging her to look back at her.
Relationships: Alex Danvers/Kelly Olsen, Kara Danvers/Lena Luthor, Querl Dox/Nia Nal
Comments: 8
Kudos: 217





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> The plot is the prompt of the story.
> 
> It's an old song from Tiffany.

**_Can’t You See?_ **

You took me wrong just because we kissed

And now I don't know how to say goodbye

_I know it's wrong when you're holding me like this_

_Still won't you stay, let me love you for awhile_

You know I'm not that strong when I see you smile

Lena started coming back to game nights a few months after Kara and her started getting close again. There are times when Lena would still feel sore or flinch when any of the super friends address her by her last name.

_“You’re not winning again tonight, Luthor!”_ Alex would often say. Or _“Hey Luthor, can you for a second not be a super genius?”_ Nia would whine when Lena beats her 12th level intellect boyfriend.

It’s not like she’s denying to being a Luthor, it is in fact her last name, but when a bunch of people deliberately hide something from you because of your _potential_ slip to evilness, call you by your last name then it feels or becomes a different story.

Alex doesn’t call _Dreamer_ Nal or _Brainy_ as Dox during game nights, sure the only other surname left were Danvers and Olsen and it can refer to both James or Kelly and Kara or Alex. But can’t they just call her Lena? Just Lena? Heck she won’t even mind if they call her Kieran, it is her mother’s name and it’s beautiful. Why is there exclusivity in _calling only her_ by her last name?

The brunette would find herself shaking her head when she feels her insecurity brewing. She would close her eyes and take deep breaths like how her therapist suggests during panic attacks.

Kara didn’t notice at first. She would chalk it up to the younger woman stifling a laugh _(because apparently it is a joke to them or an endearment),_ or holding her tongue for a witty comeback. Because Lord knows she’s the best at comebacks.

One day, Lena excused herself as if she’s getting a phone call from her secretary but Kara saw her phone wasn’t even lit when she pressed it to her ear _“Hello, Jess, what is it?”_ Lena excused herself pointing towards the door and Kara just nodded for her to _go._

It had been more than a few minutes and Lena hasn’t come back yet that Kara started to worry, she searched for the brunette’s bag seeing if she left without saying goodbye. She spotted the Balenciaga that most definitely do not belong to her other guests and wondered what is taking Lena so long.

“Has Lena gotten back? Is she in the restroom?” Kara asked the rest of her friends but none of them answered verbally, they just shrugged like it was not a big deal that she was gone a while.

When Kara opened her door, Lena wasn’t standing outside like she would normally do when taking in phone calls. She wanted to ensure Kara hears her voice and that she isn't getting swept away with work. This time though the brunette wasn’t there and so Kara got worried and took her coat off the rack and hurried to the elevator to catch up on Lena. And that’s when she saw the younger girl standing by the elevator like she’s ready to leave.

Lena has both hands on her hips, head down and shoulders hunched. She was heaving and mumbling words. To anyone without super hearing it will sound gibberish, but to her it was clear.

“Don’t be ridiculous. You can get through this. They’re just joking. Kara wants you here.” she repeats reassuringly to herself but on the third time, her voice sounded near crying, clearly her pep talk is not working.

Kara was afraid to make a move. She was afraid to make her presence known. Sometimes things between them are still touchy and she didn’t want to make it any more complicated, so she stepped back as quietly as she can and went back in her apartment.

She stood by the door, trying to figure how she’d approach her friend when she gets back. Thinking of ways on how to calm the brunette without giving away that Kara heard her little pep talk.

Not a few minutes later, she heard footsteps coming. Lena came in with her phone in her ear again. _“Thank you Jess, I’ll talk to you tomorrow.”_

“Hey.” Kara greeted her friend and handing her a glass of scotch.

“Hey.” Lena smiled back, “That was Jess…” she gestured to her phone and Kara just nodded. Lena didn’t elaborate and just took the glass and finished it in one go.

“I’m actually headed out. Early meeting tomorrow.” The brunette lied, while trying to get her bag and her coat. It was a Saturday and Kara knows for a fact that her CEO friend doesn’t go to work on weekends anymore, something Sam insisted even put leisure activities in the calendar of their workaholic friend. Kara needs to remind herself to thank some for this initiative.

After a few seconds of being side tracked, when the blonde looked back at Lena, Kara saw a quiver in her friends chin. She knew that if she let the brunette go, she’d wallow and drink all the scotch in her penthouse.

“Can I fly you home?” Kara asked, already poised to remove her glasses.

“My driver should be here in a few minutes, I’ll wait downstairs.” Lena’s reply was weak.

“Please?” Kara insisted and Lena not wanting any more back and forth gave in and nodded. She typed on her phone, Kara assumes it’s to cancel on her driver.

The two went to the balcony, getting ready to leave when Alex saw them.

“Hey, where are you two going?” Alex asked, a bit slurry in her voice.

“I’ll just bring Lena home, you guys can stay a bit longer if you want.” The blonde waived.

“You’re no fun, Luthor.” Alex complained and slumped next to her girlfriend.

Lena bit her bottom lip “Uh, Kara… I insist.” Signaling towards the door. “My driver is nearby anyway.”

“No.” Kara sounded firm. “Alex, stop being a baby. I’m taking Lena home.” Kara yanked Lena and swept her from the floor and speed flies away.

Lena was so shocked and scared at the same time because Kara was flying too fast and she can’t breathe easily through the gush of wind and hair all over her face. Lena held on tight shielding her face from the cold harsh air and into Kara’s neck. A few minutes later, Lena felt herself being gently laid on the ground.

She was still a bit shaky that she had to steady herself holding on to one of the chairs at her balcony. Kara helped by steadying Lena, her hand on Lena’s hip.

“I’m so sorry, Alex just annoyed me too much I didn’t realized I was speeding. I forgot about you’re fear of flight.”

“Sometimes I wish there were traffic police on air, so they can give you speeding tickets.” Lena joked and Kara just laughs.

“If it makes you feel any better, J’onn scolds me when I rage fly and prohibits me from flying for a few days. Strictly speed running instead, like Barry.”

Lena looked confused. “Barry Allen? Like the Flash?” Kara tells Lena and the other girl just shook her head yes, started laughing.

“Thank you for bringing me home.” Lena says simply, she turned her back at the superhero and opened the glass door to her living room, she removed her shoes and started walking towards her kitchen whilst opening the lights on her path.

Lena hasn’t said a word or glanced back at Kara, and it’s making the hero antsy until the brunette reached two tea cups from her cupboard and went to the stove to boil some water.

She sighed before finally looking up at Kara. “Have some tea before you fly home.” She said softly and smiled.

Kara bit her bottom lip and smiled. She came closer to the opposite side of the kitchen’s bar facing Lena. The brunette had her head down and was busying herself with finding the right type of tea to have.

“I’m sorry.” Kara spoke all of a sudden. And Lena just looked back at her with questioning eyes.

Lena pursed her lips, shook her head with a wistful smile on her lips. She sighed and looked back up at Kara. “Why?” she asked pretending to ask whatever it is Kara is sorry for.

Lena doesn’t want to make a big deal about Kara and the Super friends. She doesn’t want to appear too sensitive about _their friend_ s’ jabs or to make anyone at the DEO seem intellectually incompetent. She doesn’t want any more spotlight on her. She just wants to be plain Lena. She’s just Lena. Not the sister of the megalomaniac Lex, not the daughter and _possibly_ alliance of Cadmus’ leader, not Lena who trapped her _friend_ Supergirl in a Kyrptonite prison. Just Lena.

“I’m just sorry.” Kara said softly, reaching for Lena’s hand which she thankfully didn’t move away.

“I want to make things better. Let me make it up to you.” Kara promises. Her hold on Lena’s was firmer, urging her to look back at her.

Before Lena could say anything in response, the kettle whistled. _Saved by the bell._

Lena started pouring water onto the tea cups. When she lifted her gaze across the bar, Kara was no longer there but she was beside Lena.

Lena jumped a bit at the sight. “I really needed to get used to your super speed.” Lena said with a smile on her face. “I promised next time I won’t even notice when you’re doing it.” Lena was saying it with well intention but Kara wonders if Lena means it sarcastically like how she did during the first few months of their reconnection.

Lena pushed the tea towards Kara’s while still avoiding eye contact. Kara knows Lena is just too polite to push her away and she relishes it and stays as long as possible so the brunette don’t mix scotch with her tea until it’s all just alcohol and no tea.

“Hey, thank you for coming tonight” Kara spoke before taking a sip of her tea, the heat of it not even scalding her lip.

Lena was fascinated as she watched Kara’s lips while drinking the hot tea like it’s a cold beverage.

Kara noticed, of course she does, because she had been watching her friend’s face since they got to her penthouse.

Lena averted her eyes again and Kara’s had it. She put the cup down and held Lena’s chin. She waited for the green eyes to finally look back at her. When Lena did Kara smiled her megawatt smile.

“I missed you so much” the blonde said after a beat and leaned in to kiss Lena.

Lena was looking back at Kara when she came closer and kissed her. Lena still had her eyes open unblinkingly as she felt Kara move her lips on her. Lena didn’t push away but also didn’t move, but closed her eyes.

Kara started pressing her lips firmly on Lena and she stared kissing the blonde back softly. After less than a minute, Lena pulled away enough to lean her forehead on the blonde’s chin.

Kara didn’t move, she still had one of her hand that moved to holding Lena her side of the face. She was shaking all of a sudden and crying silently. Kara stepped closer and hugged her friend gently. Lena moved toward the blonde’s neck, still crying quietly, trying to stifle her cries. She didn’t want Kara to see her like this. That Kara see her like a weeping mess, a broken doll nobody wants to touch. But Kara just held on her tightly shushing her until her cries die down.

When the shiver stopped and Kara hears Lena’s heartbeat calm, she lifted the younger woman’s face and tucked dark hair behind her ears.

“Can I stay with you through the night?” Kara asked shyly. “I just want to hold you longer, in case you wanted to cry again.” The blonde spoke reassuringly.

Lena didn’t want any of her downward spiral on display to the object of her dejection but she also can’t refuse Kara when she looks at her like that. Like Lena means the world to Kara. That it’s just Lena and Kara till the ends of the world.

So before her voice stopped whatever this is, she just nodded and Kara held her again, lifting her off the ground and into her bed where Kara laid as well, hugging from her behind.

Can't you see

This is all a big mistake

I should try and walk away

But I need someone to hold me

And I know there's no way that this can last

Still I know that if you ask me to

I know I would stay

Tonight, just for tonight

“Kara…” Lena spoke after a few hours of sleep.

The brunette was always a light sleeper and especially when she’s nursing a broken heart. Which by the way is always.

“Kara?” she tried again and truth be told, Kara never went to sleep, she just listened to Lena’s heartbeat, like she was memorizing it, like it’s going to be the last days she’ll ever hear it this close.

“Hmm?” Kara finally supplied.

“You should go.” Lena’s voice is breaking. Lena tried to peel Kara’s arm away from her torso but Kara just pulled her limp body towards her front.

“Alex must be livid you’re not back yet.” Lena sounded bitter.

“I don’t care about Alex.” Kara answered burying her face into the back of Lena’s head.

Lena was holding her breath and Kara was anticipating for what Lena would think this is. Hoping she just doesn’t turn the hero away.

“I care about what Alex thinks” Lena suddenly said, it sounded too raw.

“I know how she feels about me, Kara.” she continued trying to even her breathing.

It’s lucky that Kara was at her back instead of in front of her, otherwise she wouldn’t have the strength to say these to her face.

“I know that she wished you let me walk away.” It sounded as a question and Kara was not responding but burying her head deeper into Lena’s hair.

“I should try and walk away. For real this time, Kara.”

“Noooo” Kara finally spoke, her voice crying.

“We both know this friendship wouldn’t last.” Lena said, sounding defeated.

“Lex is still out there. My mother is just as relentless. Your friends and your sister?” Lena listed off without elaborating.

“Please… Lena…” Kara’s voice is heartbreaking and Lena didn’t try and stop herself from crying anymore.

You look at me and you don't understand

You know I'm not the one that could feel your dreams

I can't believe that this is how I am

Still won't you stay, let me love you for awhile

You know I'm not that strong when I see you smile

Lena turned around from Kara’s arm, finally facing her. Someone has to have the courage to end this.

“Kara, look at me.” Lena urged Kara to open her tight shut eyes.

Lena held Kara’s face between her hands. “Kara, darling, please open your eyes and look at me.” Lena cooed.

Kara shook her head no, she knows she inevitably had to look at her friend and have this conversation, but maybe if she refuses, Lena will drop it. She didn’t.

When Kara opened her eyes, Lena was looking at her apologetically. “Kara, we can never be the same again.” Lena said her chin was trembling.

“Not for the reason of trust.” She clarified and Kara understands.

“Our worlds should have never crossed.” Lena went on, trying to wipe Kara’s tears.

“A Super and a Luthor?” Lena laughed bitterly.

“Who are we kidding here Kara?” it was a rhetorical question.

“But I love you, Lena.” Kara spoke pleadingly her voice was hoarse from all her crying.

“You’re my best friend, Lena. Please.” Kara’s hand was on Lena’s arm, shaking her gently.

“Can’t we stay on this a little longer, let me prove it to you. Give me a little more while” Kara pleaded waiting for Lena to say something.

Lena thinks it’s unfair how weak her heart is despite how strong her determination to overcome everything that is thrown at her. She is especially weak when it comes to Kara. Kara’s pleading eyes, Kara’s pout, Kara’s smile…

Lena sighed. “You know I'm not that strong when I see you smile.”

Kara captured Lena’s lips again and kissed her softly but also just briefly.

I love the way you watch me

I love you the way we move

But in my heart I know

I'll never be in love with you

Kara looked at Lena lovingly and she wiped the brunette’s tears. Kara swept dark hair away from her friend’s face just like Lena did a few moments ago. Kara was just caressing Lena’s face and smiling, as if she’s memorizing her friend’s face and as if this moment is on baited breath.

Lena’s heart was still breaking, but she loved the way Kara is looking at her. She loved this moment they are in, even if both their hearts know that this could be their last moment until both of them are ready to take the plunge. Whether it’s their best friendship or budding relationship.


	2. If Love is blind

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> There are still times that Kara’s mind goes to those unwanted thoughts. Can she really trust Lena now? 
> 
> Kara wonders why Lena keeps coming back to her mother and brother when all they do is fail and hurt her, only use her for their own personal gains. Is Lena that desperate for love of family? Kara wonders if Lena will take any chance there is for another family reunion. 
> 
> This keeps Kara awake at night. She wishes that her and Lena’s relationship is not this complicated. Everyone tells her not to trust Lena that she is up to no good and only does things for her own personal gain. But to her it isn’t the case. Kara remembers Lena pleading Clark to give her a chance to clear the Luthor name when she first came to National City and they had to interview her.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Another of Tiffany's song. I am on a 80's songs binge lately. I'm sorry. Also a lot of free time and no ober times. So yay.

**If Love is blind**

People say that you're no good for me  
People say it constantly  
I hear it said so much, I repeat it in my sleep

Maybe I am just a fool for you  
Maybe you're no angel, too  
But all that talk is cheap  
When I'm alone with you

Kara and Lena cried themselves to sleep last night. Kara wasn’t sure who drifted off first, she was just sure that she was holding on to Lena, both woman ensuring each other that at least for tonight they are together.

The hero stirred into her sleep when she heard a very sober, very demanding voice over the intercom.

“Supergirl!” Alex called.

“Where are you? You’re needed here at the DEO.” Alex spoke authoritatively.

“Coming, Alex.” Kara mumbled, half asleep.

Kara didn’t have the chance to change clothes when they got to Lena’s last night. So it was convenient to just get up and go. She peeled herself careful so that she doesn’t wake the other woman.

Kara’s mind was blank as she flew to the DEO. Alex will likely to get an earful from her and her behavior towards Lena last night.

When she sees the porch from afar, Alex is already standing there, arms on her hips and she has that stern look on her face.

“Where the hell have you been?” Alex is clearly threading dangerous waters lately.

“Did somebody die, Director Danvers?” Kara asked without sparing her sister a glance and storming off the monitors, the blondes arms crossed. “Brainy, can you tell me why I was summoned here?”

Alex was hot on her heels, clearly not backing down. “I asked you a question, Supergirl. There could have been an emergency.”

Kara just looked at her sister, brow raised. “Well, is there?” Kara asked impatiently.

Alex huffed. “There could be, you can’t neglect your duty just because your best friend is sad, Kara.”

Kara had one of her hand up as if warning her sister. She had her jaw clenched to prevent herself from lashing out. She huffed hard before speaking, intently looking into her sister’s eyes.

“Alex, I say this with love. I care about the people, but I am not one of your agents. I don’t have a duty to check in with you or report at your beck and call. I am not even on the DEO’s payroll.” Kara had both hands on air as if surrendering.

“I have a duty to the people of Earth, but not even my cousin can save everyone.” Kara says softly.

“What I do on my personal time…” Kara laughed. “I can’t say this enough to you, is none of your business.” Kara didn’t want to be this harsh, but Alex just pushes and pushes and she can only take so much, especially if it involves somebody other than her.

“You can’t trust Lena.” Alex said softly, like she really believed it to be true.

“She will always be a Luthor.” The older Danvers pressed on.

“She proved that last year when she worked with her brother.”

Kara crossed her arms, she knows this. Everything her sister is saying are all true, and she and Lena already made peace with it during their early reparation of their friendship.

“You even admitted to William that you don’t trust her yourself.” Alex said accusingly.

“And that was a mistake. I was hurt.” Kara defended.

Alex is right, so she walked towards the balcony to get some air. Thankfully Alex let her be.

There are still times that Kara’s mind goes to those unwanted thoughts. Can she really trust Lena now? She did kill Lex the first time and then in Earth Prime, the younger Luthor teamed up with her brother to proceed with her Non Nocere project and when she’s seen her brother’s diabolical plans, she bolts and goes to Kara to help stop him. Something Kara had kept insisting on Lena that her brother is never going to change.

Kara wonders why Lena keeps coming back to her mother and brother when all they do is fail and hurt her, only use her for their own personal gains. Is Lena that desperate for love of family? Kara wonders if Lena will take any chance there is for another family reunion.

This keeps Kara awake at night. She wishes that her and Lena’s relationship is not this complicated. Everyone tells her not to trust Lena that she is up to no good and only does things for her own personal gain. But to her it isn’t the case. Kara remembers Lena pleading Clark to give her a chance to clear the Luthor name when she first came to National City and they had to interview her.

Yes Lena sometimes does things in the grey area, but it is always for the greater good. She never wanted people to put a spotlight on her, but does things that will prove people’s judgement of her wrong. Yes, she is no angel. Who is anyway? She may have the Luthor last name, but to use it against her is just wrong. And she admits that even she is guilty of that but that needs to change. She just doesn’t know how but is determined to start.

If love is blind  
I'll find my way with you  
'Cause I can't see myself  
I'm not in love with you  
If love is blind  
I'll find my way with you

Kara knows that there is a lot the two had to go through, people will never understand their friendship let alone a relationship if she ever lets her mind wonder to that degree. Last night was something new. They never had that intimate affection before, sure they’d hug and sometimes cuddle during movie nights, but Kara has never dared kiss Lena before last night. She was pleasantly surprise when Lena reciprocated the kiss eventually. She was afraid that she will be booted on her first attempt, but was relieved that the younger Luthor didn’t do so.

Kara wondered if she had always been a little in love with Lena. Lena was everything to her except a potential relationship. It was the brunette who inspired Kara to become a journalist, but yes, Cat Grant had a hunch, and gave her the opportunity, but it was Lena’s push that made her realize her potential. Lena was also mostly key to her interviews that won her the Pulitzer. Lena was her motivator, inspiration her lucky charm. All those times, she did Kara a favor all because she was her best friend and not because she’d gain from the hero. Lena didn’t even know she was Supergirl when she did all those.

Yet even when Lena sees Supergirl, all she did was help whatever her cause is at that moment. She’d set aside all prejudice and doubts everyone has of her and just do what is needed to get the job done. It is one of the reasons why Kara chose to drag her secret for so long. She relishes in the fact that a genius mind like Lena has been fooled by a pair of glasses. She relishes at the fact that to Lena, she is just Kara. Not someone that can fly to different cities of the world and have her get whatever she wants. Although Kara did those when she first told Lena about her alter ego. She flew to Milan, Paris and Dublin to get all her favorite things, and Lena jokes about missing on the perks of being friends with Supergirl. Kara laughs too but was a bit hurt that there’s truth in what she said until Lena tells her she didn’t have to do that. Not for her at least.

So how can Kara not be a little in love with Lena Luthor? How can Kara not find a way to fight to keep Lena in her life, she will settle to whatever degree it will be, just as long as the hero has Lena in her life.

All the world is crazy anyway  
What's it matter what they say?  
If I'm the one that's wrong  
Then let it be my mistake

Kara loves her sister, and no matter how Alex distrusts Lena, she will fight tooth and nail to make her sister see that Lena is not the threat. She never is. The super friends should be easier to convince, Kelly would tell them that there are subtle slips of Lena’s childhood trauma. The psychologist would tell them Lena’s super insecure and how they _(Alex)_ are treating her triggers Lena’s over eagerness to prove people wrong, no matter the consequences. Brainy and Nia really doesn’t have a problem with Lena except for when the genius beats the Coluan’s super computer brain. Brainy is from the future and Kara is pretty sure that even when the Coluan refuses to divulge what is of the future, he would always agree with Kara when the heroine would defend Lena’s motives.

You wouldn't be with me tonight  
If I didn't feel I was right  
What will it matter anyhow  
A hundred years from now?

Lena has recognized her mistake about the whole Non Nocere project, she recognizes that it is not enough to mind control people to eliminate hurt and aggressiveness. The young genius realized certain things needed to happen so that good can come out of it. Just like their friendship, it had to go through a years’ worth of pushing each other’s limit for them to realize that neither they can really live their full potential without the other.

So if Kara wants Lena in the heroine’s life and to be in Lena’s life, she has to put her foot down and fight for it. It would have to start with herself, she has to fully believe that Lena is good and is actually perfect in her life. Lena killed Lex for her _(for the world)_ , she betrayed her mother and put her in jail, and she has done everything for Kara and Supergirl (even before she knew the truth).

If love is blind  
I'll find my way with you  
'Cause I can't see myself  
I'm not in love with you  
If love is blind  
I'll find my way with you

Maybe Lena loves Kara just the same but didn’t know what kind of love it is. She had been scarred most her life and the littlest affection makes her weak, Kara would have to change that. She has to fight for Lena the same way Lena had always fought for Kara.


	3. It’s the Lover (Not the Love)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Last year Lex took all credit of what brilliance Lena has become. Lilian claiming second to that. And if you ask Lena, she would swear it meant nothing, but just like those times when they were younger, her heart swells with pride when she’d please the Luthor family. It’s weird saying the “Luthor Family” rather than saying her family, that’s how much of an outsider she feels most of her life. Well, considering it was just recently that Lilian confessed to her that she has in fact Luthor DNA that she realized just how much she is like them, brilliant but with the potential to be extremely dangerous.
> 
> That maybe why she understood how Kara and her friends still jump into conclusion she has to do with all the madness in the city. Who else can seed the sky with kryptonite? She’s the only one who has succeeded in making one, although who’s to say that Earth is not littered of it already?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Im sorry for all the mistakes, I have proof read my writings. English is also not my first language, so if you keep reading the same words for an adjective or adverb... its becaise of that. I also cant write Lena. She's way out of my league. I just had a very slow week last week and had been listening to Tiffany, an 80's singer, and O had all this feels. Please try and listen to her songs. The ones I used for chapter titles. Thank you for reading. ;) Yay for March 30.

It’s the Lover (Not the Love)

He broke your heart and said goodbye  
After promising forever  
You wonder why you even tried  
He was such a good pretender

The love you gave was all in vain  
And nothing anyone can say  
Could ever make you love that way again

Lena had already been awake a few minutes before Supergirl left. She didn’t want to move and wake the heroine up just as yet because she’d know they’d probably have to talk about last night. Whatever transpired between them that lead to kissing, Lena was embarrassed because she was a crying mess. She never want people to see her vulnerable let alone weeping valleys of tears. But it was Kara, and the blonde always finds a way to make her open up.

Growing up in the Luthor household, you are taught to be tough or else you will be mocked. It’s as if she took a course on being ( _appearing)_ blasé and unaffected, she was always scolded of acting childlike even in her first few years in the family. So when she got to high school, she was labelled as the uptight ice princess. She hated that because it drives potential suitors and friends away. Those who dared were bribed to stay away, she later finds out from Lilian, thanks to the baby truth seeker.

The only one who dared make friends with her back in boarding school was Andrea. That whole time was fantastic, Lena learned to explore a more adventurous life, and being away from home really helped with that because she need not sneak out from her bodyguards and just roam free. Lilian is not there to criticize her daughter on a daily basis, telling her to sit up straighter, dress better even to smile lesser. Lionel maybe a man of few words, and even when Lilian would say she was her father’s favorite, Lena is secretly afraid of her father. More in a sense of not making him _prouder_. Lena was an exceptional student, but Lionel is never satisfied of her achievements. She’s constantly compared with her brother and even when she excels more, since Lex is the _charming_ more _cunning_ one she still falls short.

It was only Lex who _somehow_ appreciated her. Before being shipped off to boarding school, Lex will go to his sister's room to find out what she was doing, maybe sneak up on a boyfriend and scare them off. But Lex would always find Lena hunched on an experiment, obviously to impress her older brother. When she’d show him her current work, Lex would pretend to be unimpressed and mock her persistently. Lex would drop insults that he unknowingly made Lena improve on her craft, like finding something better from his suggestions and then hiding it from him when done. Lex will have that glint in his eye and a small smile that would make Lena’s heart swell because that was Lex’s way to say _Brava._

Last year Lex took all credit of what brilliance Lena has become. Lilian claiming second to that. And if you ask Lena, she would swear it meant nothing, but just like those times when they were younger, her heart swells with pride when she’d please the Luthor family. It’s weird saying the “Luthor Family” rather than saying _her family_ , that’s how much of an outsider she feels most of her life. Well, considering it was just recently that Lilian confessed to her that she has in fact Luthor DNA that she realized just how much she is like them, brilliant but with the potential to be extremely dangerous.

That maybe why she understood how Kara and her friends still jump into conclusion she has to do with all the madness in the city. Who else can seed the sky with kryptonite? She’s the only one who has succeeded in making one, although who’s to say that Earth is not littered of it already?

Even when Lena knew what she’s getting herself into, Lex broke her heart the minute he shouted at her face at Stryker’s. Lena knew, straight from the beginning that Lex will turn the minute it inconvenienced him, he said so himself. Yet she entered into a deal with him because it’s either at Lex’s side to launch her project or being utterly alone. Alex, Kara and their friends didn’t believe her cause, Alex was even ready to blow her up in the bunker when she was just starting non nocere with Eve. Yet Kara bypassed her security and showed up as a hologram to tell her to stop and convinced that she believes in her, that they can work together, but Lena knows nothing but to be stubborn.

Lena scoffed to no one in her penthouse as she reminisced. Kara has given her a lot of chance to work with her instead of her brother. But because Lena was too busy licking her Kara wounds, she chose to run away. To her, at the time, she felt like she had no choice but to stand on her own and prove to everyone else that she is not evil, that she can be trusted. She regrets how stupid she had been not noticing the small slips Kara’s made in the pass indicating she is an alien (not necessarily Supergirl), and different. Even when at first Kara insisted herself on her for months after her reveal, she held back being swayed again. Lena often wonders _How can I know if she really do trust me?_ Lena would tell herself during those first nights _She was so good at pretending to be my “best friend” Kara when things are bad between me and “Supergirl”._ Lena remembers all the things Kara’s said to her in the past, how Kara believes in her and that everyone should be judged on their own merits. Maybe that’s it, her merits may have an end goal to serve for the good, but her methods can be dodgy. Lena laughs at this, she didn’t exactly have a role model on good behavior and openness to her surroundings. To Lena as long as she is doing something good, why does it matter if she keep it in secrecy?

When Supergirl told her she would stop her just like she would any other villain that was the last nail to the coffin. How can Kara plead to her that she work with them and be the good person she is and Supergirl say this? Maybe she really is used to being two faced and all those love in the past are in vain.

It's the lover not the love  
Who broke your heart last night  
It's the lover not the dream  
That didn't work out right  
If you listen to your heart  
Ooh you'll know it's true  
It's the lover not the love  
Who deserted you

Lena felt a brewing headache. She need something strong to start her morning, she checks her wall clock, Sam is about to call her to check up on her to make sure she isn’t working. God Bless Sam’s soul for that. So before her friend does, Lena made coffee and heated up some scones. She could speak to Sam about this, at least the part about the falling apart, and maybe she can have some outsider’s perspective. She meant outsider lovingly, because Sam is free of the pain and angst this revelation brought.

Like clockwork, her phone rang and she answered on the first ring.

“Aren’t you eager to talk to me” Sam laughed at Lena’s excited _Hello!_

“I actually am.” Lena responded nodding even if Sam can’t see.

“So what is up, how was game night?” Sam asked eagerly.

“It was okay, but I had to leave early…and” Lena told with uncertainty in her voice.

“Spill it Lena Kieren!” Sam mock demand her friend.

“It was just too much for me. It was overwhelming and Alex was… I know she doesn’t like me because…” Lena trailed and she knows Sam knows how Alex (and probably anyone distrusts the Luthor last name) is not too chummy with her sister’s best friend, but she has to let it go. Sam knows Lena is not the same as her family. She is one of her best friends too and probably owes her life to the younger brunette because of the whole Reign ordeal.

“Aww, honey. Don’t mind Alex. She will come around, and if she doesn’t I’m flying to National City and kick her ass!” Sam said encouragingly.

“Yeah, it’s just that sometimes I feel like the stereotype to my last name is not enough, but all my wrongdoings and all my shady actions, even if the intent is good, has overshadowed me as a person. As Kara’s best friend.” Lena choked on her words as she speaks.

Sam was soothing her friend over the phone and really swears that when things gets loose enough in her schedule, she will get to Natinal City and kick some ass.

“Honey, did something happen last night?” Sam asked with fear in her voice.

“Nothing really bad, I just felt left out, so I had to leave early and Kara offered to walk me home.” Lena said shyly.

“Oh… Bless Kara..” Sam cooed.

“But…” Lena interrupted.

“But what?” Sam asked.

“Alex was grumpy and protested, sort of, but Kara was not having it and just dragged me out and we went into my penthouse. She spent the night and left early for work.” Lena said hurriedly (but omitting the part where Kara drag flew her instead).

“Wait, what?” Sam asked.

“Yeah, it was really awkward. We talked, cried and tried to patch things up. But who are we kidding, one night cannot fix everything automatically.” Lena pushed forward.

“What did she say? I don’t really know the whole story, because you can’t tell me. But it makes me think that with all the other stuff around, like your family, her family, our friends… they all factor in what ripped the closeness you two have.” What Sam said was right and deep inside Lena, she knows this to be true.

“Honey, I’m going to ask this now, because I feel like it’s the right time to do so. Do you love Kara, like maybe more than a friend?” Sam asked with all seriousness in her voice.

“Because you are so broken down about you’re falling apart. You even keep saying she broke your heart. And I know a heart can be broken too for family or friends, but it sounded different. It was like your dream was snatched away from you. And you always told me something has drawn you to National City all those years ago. And the same thing is what made you stay.” Sam continued and Lena was shocked. She forgot about that. It was Supergirl that brought her to National City. The goal to work with her to make the world know, a Super and a Luthor can work together, and the two of them proved that. Kara was the reason why she gravitated to the city, her warmth and love for people and her.

“Yeah, it was the lie that broke my heart and not her” Lena finally spoke. “My brother’s doing… he’s being evil that broke the dream. But yes, deep inside me, there’s still a yearning to have Kara in my life.” Lena was careful not to divulge Kara’s secret but still get an advice from her friend.

“Hun, if you listen to your heart, you'll know it's true… it was all those factors that’s deserting you” Sam agreed but was gentle with her words.

Don't stop reaching for the stars  
Let tomorrow live inside you  
And just remember who you are  
Keep the faith and love will find you

A heart in love can lose it's true  
But don't give up in time to find  
The one who's right will come to you

“Lena, I know you know this already… But you have to push through all the pain and the falling apart to get to that same place again with Kara, and maybe even more. I know you said you’ve done things that hurt her too, and that made Alex act like she’s doing now, but just remember who you truly are, not the one who’s acting out because of the hurt, because that is not all you... You'll see things will eventually be alright.” Sam said lovingly to her friend. Lena was grateful for this, and she has a haunch that things will eventually get there if she does her part. No more acting out when hurt, everything is easier if they would just be _honest_ about how you feel.

“Forget about Lex and your mom. We are here for you and we love you and won’t judge you because of your last name. We will help you heal the wounds of your past. I will make Kara admit she loves you so she can lead this crusade.” Sam laugh at her wits.

“I just keep building walls, you know? And if the closest people to me keep breaking them down violently and it’s just hard to keep forward, you see where the problem is, right?” Lena asked her friend, she was close to tears again.

“I know, I know hun. Don’t give up, and I know Kara hasn’t given up, or else she wouldn’t even try stand up to her sister from your story from last night.” Sam teased.

“The important thing here is, you both acknowledge both your wrongdoings and is ready to move forward to a better friend – relationship.” Sam laughed at the last bit presumably making air quotes to "friend relationship".

“Yeah. I know, Kara said she want to make things better and if she can make it up to me.” Lena said while biting her lip and contemplating.

“See? Let her, and honey, I love you, and I will always be Team Lena. But you have to move your ass and meet my blonde homie half way” Sam scolded jokingly.

“Aye, aye, captain!” Lena snorted trying not to laugh at Sam calling Kara her homie.

“Hmmm." Sam sighed. "Listen, I want to chat all day, but my boss is on a weekend break, so I have to make some calls before I send Ruby to her football practice. I’ll call you again tomorrow?” Sam laughed good naturedly, she didn’t want to guilt trip having the extra work, but she really needed to get one quick call done for their upcoming project launch.

“And not buts and I’m sorry for this.” Sam scolded hurriedly before Lena insist on doing the job instead.

“Yes ma’am.” Lena laughed.

“What? No ma’ams too” Sam snorted.

“Thank you for the talk Sam. And for everything else…” Lena wanted to say for taking on the extra work hours, for being the next best friend she ever had, for being her sub mom too at times, for being there.

“I’ve got you hun, now go meet Kara for potsticker lunch or something.” Sam pushed and after a few more exchanges, they hanged up.

It does no good to second guess  
Whether love is wrong or right  
If it was really meant to be  
He'd be with you tonight, tonight, oh yeah...

Lena circled back to her and Sam’s conversation, and writing a few notes down, if Sam sees what she’s doing, she’ll mock her about making a minutes of the meeting. She wrote down things about trying to move forward from the past. Kara certainly doesn’t want to dive into that anymore, Kara would rather Lena opens up to her, about what is going on her mind and they discuss it with open minds.

Lena also acknowledges where Kara is coming from, keeping her identity and Alex's over protectiveness. Her first goal with coming to the city is to work with Supergirl and prove to the world that a Luthor and a Super can work together and that she and Kara is different from Lex and her cousin. The bottom line is, that second guessing people’s intentions and reasons will do neither of them good. If they start to believe now about each other’s intention then it may lead to rebuilding their friendship or maybe have a real relationship.


End file.
